he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
