throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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