No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
