adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
