I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
