If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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