names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
