oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
