Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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