I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize