I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
