I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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