Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize