I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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