my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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