Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
