wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
