i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
