why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
