have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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