Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
