i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
