Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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