You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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