pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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