would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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