how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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