feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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