Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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