I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
