oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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