Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize