i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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