M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
