Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
