he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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