Banned from zoo.
Again?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
