Porn is love you can see.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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