Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
