Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
