I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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