So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
