No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
