I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
