you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he told me I talked like a deaf person
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
