lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
