We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
