I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
