did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
