Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
