Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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