i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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