i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
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