i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
