how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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