He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
