So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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