i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
be right there i have to get my cape
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
