but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
