it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish i was in the wii world.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
