Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
