Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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