Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Pooping to opera.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
