but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
