let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize