After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
