if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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