A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
