just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize