So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
