fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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