I need help removing her.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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