pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
