That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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