And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
